Human Relationships

It occurs to me now that up until now this blog has been centered around movie critiques. well how about a change of pace? lets talk a little bit about relationship philosophy! Those of you whom know me well know that recently me and my long term girl friend have broken up. Fear not, this is not some emo attempt to write away any and all feelings I have for her through a pineing if only column. No this and subsequent events have brought the the subject of relationships to the front of my mind and it occurred to me that i should get my thoughts down whilst they were still fresh.

Humans seem to be the only known beings whom can not seem to agree on our own mating habits. We cannot seem to to decide individually, much less as a species. Everything else in the animal kingdom is ether monogamous, or seems to be only obsessed with single encounter which will perpetuate the the gene pool in a lust which is the closest thing to emotion other than fear they will ever seem to have. Why is it that we as beings have such a widespread spectrum that ranges as far if not farther than the absolutes of the animal kingdom? In fact not only do we go so far as to stop our conception and purely mate for sexual gratification, but we also on the flip side are willing to give up everything that we are and will ever be and forsake all others for one single individual. What is it that brought us to this stage? Simply put it is our minds. Since we have crawled out of the perveribal tree we have found our selves try to out think our world. The more we thought, the more we were able to invent and avoid trivial things such as fighting for our survival. The less time we spent on survival the more time we spent just sitting there contemplating things much as i am doing now. It has broght us to terms in our existance that could are in most cases debatably true or not (that is another blog entirely).

Perhaps the concept which is most pertinent to this post, that was raised by this unique talent of humans is love. What is love? is it purely a euphoric sense we get from hormones for happening to be with some one? is it some deep energy connection we manage to create when two souls meet and truly understand one another? Try as we might no one on this planet knows this answer, they say they do and proclaim themselves correct. The fact of the matter is that no matter how sure some one is on the subject there is a way to shake them to their core belief system. Faithful monogamists can become bitter and harden philanders. The most shallow and amorous amongst us can be turned into die hard romanticists. I myself have bounced between the two concepts numerous times and upon each transition have thought that I had found the true path to happiness. Contemplating these situations have lead me to only one logical conclusion.

If I may barrow from the eastern philosophies for a moment i believe the solution to the human emotion problem is that of the middle way. There must be some kind of balance between the two. Do what you feel you must at any point in time. If you manage to feel that coveted and ever so longed for emotional connection absolutely make a commitment to be with that person as long as you want to. If it feels right to have a lust filled encounter with some one whom you have never met before much less know their name then by all means dive right in. But whatever you do do not let your self become trapped into the cycle of ether purely for the cycle or some misplaced ideal about human nature. If you are to be with one person and only one person, then make sure it is because you truly love that person and not because you simply do not want to be out of your comfort zone. On goes their now miserable lives because they will not do the right thing and not let the other go and fine some one else they might have a connection with. The flip side is just as irritating. The perpetual single person whom refuses to let any one get close to them because the seem to think they have human nature figured out. All this achieves is to stop those who may care about them the most from becoming some one who is truly special in their life and experiencing the joy of having a soul mate.

Please understand that in all of this I aim for two things, being fair to your self and to other people. I in no way condone infidelity, or speaking miss truth to some one and using them for sexual release by promising them more than your willing to commit. Do what makes you happy while doing what you can to make the people your involving happy as well. a fine trick to master I know, and not always possible but if you work at it you should be able to come close. If faced with a hard decision, go with your gut do what you feel is right. Either way you go remember to be safe in everything you do (particularly for STDs and children, make sure your ready for ether). If you chose a steady relationship I think that the sitcom Scrubs said it best with the message of " People who are right for each other wade through the same crap as everyone else, but the difference is that at the end of the day one of them will stand up for the relationship and fight for it." If your not willing to fight for it then please let it go. Alternatively if you find your self next to your next emotionless partner and you find something lacking afterward, please consider becoming more to some one.

Let your self feel what you feel, do not suppress whatever the emotion is. Become what you feel like you need to be. Let the truth of a situation shine through. And no matter what do what feels right.